Story
''Keep your hands up where I can see them unless you want to be shot.'' ''Funny.'' The dark, menacing voice of an evil man growled, the tone raspy, yet strong as he spoke. ''No one ever said I didn't want to be shot so why don't you do it?'' A black figure taunted, stepping closer to the police officer who's hand was readied on his pistol.''Stay back or I will SHOOT!''
''Not if I shoot first.'' Before the officer could even react, a gun was pointed directly at his chest and three shots rang out, leaving a pool of blood and a dead officer on the studio's floor.
Jaxson couldn't help but sneak glances at the scene, watching the whole thing play out right in front of his own two eyes like a Hollywood masterpiece in the making. All of it was mesmerizing, to the point that Jaxson stopped what he was doing to watch it take place, and not just because his boyfriend was the badass acting in this scene, but because of how much of himself disappeared as he got into the roll. It was almost like he wasn't even looking at the same person anymore, though he wasn't quite sure if that was such a bad thing.
''Are you done, or what?''
Jaxson managed to rip his eyes away from the scene, turning his head to look at the actress sitting in the chair before him, her face half finished resulting in a circus, clown kind of look.
''Ah, crap, sorry about that.'' He cursed quitely to her, grabbing another tube of ivory colored concealer from his vanity table and reverting his attention back to his project on hand. Carefully and with a steady hand, he smudged some of the concealer on her face, the liquid beads oozing down her cheeks in a slow but steady race to fall onto her costume and send her into a full on dog fit. Pressing the pale colored beads onto her face carefully, Jaxson made sure to get every last drop before he worked on smoothing them in to cover up her blotched, uneven skin that he was forced to work with. Each stroke he made on her face was like painting a work of art - it all had to be perfect and perfection took a while, even if his models weren't always so patient. Quickly, he snatched some dark brown powder eye shadow from the table and popped it open, getting some of the end of his brush and working it over each crease on her eyelid until all of it was covered. Somewhere in between the eyeshadow and blush, Jaxson fell into his groove - zoning out, but in a good way, that allowed him to finish the makeup job within minutes.
''Wow...looks good.''
''Melissa, we need you on set in five.''
Without so much as a thank you, the actress removed herself from Jaxson's seat and disappeared behind the curtains, the quiet click of her high heels fading as the distance grew. He sighed heavily, turning his attention back to the messy vanity table but heard a familiar voice behind him that caught him off guard.
''Playing with your makeup over here?'' The handsome actor said with a smirk, his dark brown locks hanging dangerously close to his flawless blue eyes while beads of sweat poured down his makeup caked face.
''Maybe.'' Jaxson replied softly, thinking about his choice of words as he spoke, all while peeking up at Kellen to see if he had taken offense to it. ''Did you need something?''
''How about some touch ups?'' Kellen flopped down into the chair roughly, rattling the fragile vanity table and even knocking a few pieces of makeup to the floor. Jaxson opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, thinking better of the situation and instead, snatching some remaining powder off of the vanity table to begin work on his new project.
''You were really good.'' Jaxson spoke quietly, popping open the powdered concealer and watching as the small wisps of white dust crept into the air. ''I almost didn't recognize you out there.''
''Yeah well - that's what happens when you're as good as me.'' Kellen boasted rather loudly, smiling wickedly at a girl who was walking by. ''Isn't that right, baby?'' The actor continued to gloat, even going so far as to pop the woman on the butt with the back of his hand, allowing a small giggle to escape the frisky blonde vixen.
''Oh, stoppit Kellen.''
''Yes Kellen.'' Jaxson warned, pulling his hand away from the girl and and putting it back into the bold bruntette's lap. ''Stop it.''
''I can do whatever I want - what are you going to do about it?''
''Uh, I dunno, Kellen. Maybe leave you? How does that sound?''
''Go ahead. Like I don't have a million other people I could love - I can get anyone I want. I could get someone way better than you anyway so you best consider yourself lucky.'
' Blood began to boil beneath Jaxson's skin, slamming down the concealer onto the vanity table with an angry frown and turning his fury back to Kellen. ''You know what Kellen? Fuck you and fuck your crappy acting too. I'm not even sure how you landed an acting job in the first place.''
''Well you know what, Jaxson? My acting may be crapty but at least I actually bring home a reasonable amount of money every now and then - what do you have to show for us, huh? Fuckin' nothin'.''
''Kellen, we need you back on the set in two minutes!''
''Now if you don't mind...'' Kellen stood up, leaning closer to Jaxson who now had his back facing his boyfriend. ''I've got some money to make.''
And just as quickly as it had began, the fight was over or, at least, so it seemed. Jaxson knew that although they had to part ways for now, this wasn't the last he'd hear about this - Kellen would make sure of it.
After another few actresses and actors had come and gone and his makeup supply had been depleted, Jaxson was thankful to be heading home or, at the very least, going somewhere that Kellen wasn't. With his makeup bag in hand, his cell phone in his pocket and his car keys ready to go, Jaxson was all settled in his seat when he heard the best possible sound in the world: the buzz of his cell phone. Reaching across the backseat and into his makeup bag Jaxson dug around, grasping at various objects until he felt the cold plastic of his cell phone and the familiar feeling of a vibration. He pressed on a few of the buttons to light the phone's screen up, reading over the text message silently to himself a few times before smiling and typing up a quick response.
'Sure - just got off of work, meet you guys there in a bit.' Jaxson messaged back, taking a note of the club they were hitting up tonight before peeling away from the studio in Kellen's brand new convertible.
Large black stage lights lined the front of the club, blinding rays of brightness being broadcasted into the sky, alerting everyone in the area that there was another party happening tonight and the best one was happening here at Club'In. Jaxson had just finished parking and stepped out of the car when, seconds later, he felt a hand on his back and the rowdy, but comforting voices of his friends hollering directly in his ear.
''Woo woo! Lookin' good, Jaxson~"
''Yeaaah, what're you thinkin' of doin' tonight dressin' like that!'' Another one said with a playful, but painful, slap on the back. ''Just going out to have some fun.'' Jaxson said, trying to reassure both his friends and himself that nothing was going to happen tonight. ''Nothing wrong with that, is there?''
''Mhhhhhhm - just don't let Kellen find out. Boy will be pissed!''
Jaxson rolled his eyes a bit. ''Let Kellen worry about Kellen - let us worry about dancing, drinking and a night to remember!''
Inside the club, it was loud; pulsating music was pouring out of the oversized black speakers, the vibrations from them making the floor shake while the multicolor light system danced off of the club's walls and partygoers, who were too busy heating it up the dance floor to know that all eyes were on them. Jaxson couldn't help but smile to himself at this feeling of pure excitement, the club acting as a comfort to him and providing him with a little reassurance that was most definately needed after living with Kellen. When he walked through the sweaty, heated crowd, girls and guys alike parted ways for him, staring at him underneath the dimmed club lighting with a mixture of confusion and awe on their faces. He didn't even care why they were staring; all that mattered is that they noticed him and for just a brief second, he could feel what Kellen felt. Taking a seat at the bar, Jaxson did a quick scan of the room, trying to see if there was anyone he make recognize (or anyone that may recognize him) before letting out a sigh of relief and turning his attention to the bartender.
''Fuzzy navel please.'' Jaxson requested, making sure to bat his eyelashes a bit in hopes of scoring a couple of free drinks before the night was done. After the first sip, Jaxson already felt more relaxed but it was all shattered when he felt the vibration of his phone and the name flashed across the screen: Kellen.
'where are u'
Jaxson scowled at the text message, typing up a quick, catty response similiar to 'none of your business', before returning to his conversation with his friends. As another text message flew into his inbox, Jaxson ignored it, holding down the power button on the side of the phone until the bright screen flashed white momentarily before fading to pitch black. ''What's up, Jaxson?'' The tall, lanky blonde friend, known as Keagan, asked, swallowing a large gulp of his margarita. ''Kellen on your ass again?''
Jaxson just laughed. ''Nah - he's been caged tonight. I've got no worries!'' ''Hell yeah - what a dick!'' His friend Peter called out a little too loudly, already tipsy and taking in the alcohol faster than the bartender could serve it. ''You put him in his place!''
''Yeah man, I thought you were going to leave him anyway! What happened to that?''
''Ah...'' Jaxson trailed off, completely unsure as he had been trying to answer that question for himself ever since their last argument. ''Kellen's not that bad. He has his moments, but he's just...a little hot-headed is all.''
''I heard he punched some paparazzi camera dude after leaving a hotel!'' ''Nah, that's not what I heard...I heard he was buying some crap from some drug dealer on 5th - they have pictures any everything.''
''Guys, don't ya read the Enquirer? He's dying, clearly!'' Keagen laughed, holding his drink in the air as if begging for a toast to the 'happy' occassion.
It was difficult to pull himself out of the conversation, but it had to be done. Instead, Jaxson withdrew into himself, afraid of saying too much of the wrong thing only to have it get back to Kellen in some way or another. Directly across the bar from where Jaxson was sitting, a female and male couple were sitting, her head resting on his shoulder as he nuzzled into her hair and whispered what looked like sweet nothings into her ear. A softened smile grew on Jaxson's face at the two young lovers, but beneath it all, in the pits of his heart was bitterness. Why couldn't he be the happy one for once? Why did everything, even love, always have to be such a struggle for him? He turned away from the sight, sorry for ever having even looked, but was faced with something even more heart-stopping: Kellen coming through the club's doorway. Jaxson hastily ducked behind one of his friends, praying that Kellen hadn't already seen him but the finger had already been pointed in Jaxson's direction and he was caught. Kellen strutted over to the bar, taking a seat beside Keagen who was too busy enjoying his drink to notice the overworked, clearly stressed actor sitting beside him until his calm, gruff voice cut into the conversation.
''So, you guys enjoying your time, just having a few drinks?'' He said, the rage in his voice clearly hidden behind fake friendliness. ''You guys seen Jaxson?''
Peter shifted in his chair uncomfortably while Keagen swirled the drink around in his glass, both remaining silent as dead men. Jaxson already knew how quickly Kellen could get out of control and putting his friends right in danger's way wasn't something he was going to do. He may look like it, but he was no coward. Standing up from his bar stool behind his friend, Jaxson looked directly at Kellen, fire in his eyes.
''Why are you here?'' Jaxson asked as Kellen took a straight shot of whiskey before standing up from his own stool.
''I came to get you. It's time to go home.''
''I think I can decide for myself when to go home, Kellen.''
''Really?'' Kellen spoke softly, but Jaxson could tell his temper was rising. ''Well, how about we go home and talk about that a little bit more - does that sound good?''
''Not real-''
''Get in the car, Jaxson.'' Kellen warned through tightly clenched teeth. ''No. I really think I'd rather st-''
''Get in the car, Jaxson.'' Kellen warned again, daring Jaxson to make him give his warning one last time. Jaxson was ready to push him to his limits, but after looking from one friend to another, he decided that this wasn't the right time or place to fight and should he dare to rock the boat any further, there would be hell to pay. Jaxson reached into his bag and threw a few dollars onto the bar, walking past Kellen with a stony, emotionless face before exiting the club and slipping into the convertible which he was sure Kellen had already found. Seconds later, the well toned muscled figure slipped into the seat beside him and the two pulled away from the club, ending Jaxson's fun sooner than he had intended.
The air in the car was still and the conversation was nonexistant. The car ride home was silent and awkward but Jaxson didn't dare break the peace between the two, letting Kellen stew in his own emotions until they reached the home that they shared together. Before Kellen could even shut the car off, Jaxson bolted out of the passenger's seat and up to the front door, fiddling with his keys and heading inside to what felt like a cage and to what he always feared could be his last minutes on Earth. The bathroom was his only safe haven, the comforting click of the locked door giving him some kind of reassurance despite Kellen's known strength. In here, things were quiet, clean and beautiful - like a vacation away from the hellish nightmare he was living in day to day. As the sound of the front door closing behind footsteps echoed throughout the almost empty home, Jaxson felt himself shudder and clutch his knees to his chest even tighter.
Knock, knock, knock.
Three loud taps came from the bathroom door and Jaxson just began to pray.
''Jaxson.'' The voice demanded. ''Get out here, now.''
Jaxson almost reached up to grab the doorknob, but immediately pulled his hand away wondering if he would just go away this time. Another three knocks on the hollow door sounded and still, Jaxson refused to remove the space between the two of them.
''Jaxson.'' He called again, his voice already starting to peak with anger. ''Get out here. Now.'' But again, Jaxson pretended not to hear. The sweet sound of silence greeted Jaxson for one minute and then two and then three, each passing second more sweet than the last when he finally heard something even more wonderful: he was walking away. The front door swung open very quickly and then slammed behind Kellen, the rattling of the keys in the deadbolt like music to Jaxson's ears. He let a few seconds pass, savoring the moment of de-escalation before turning the bathroom lock to the left and opening the door to something more deadly than the devil himself. A hand reached through the door and grasped at Jaxson, managing to grab a handful of his soft, plum mohawk to pull him out with before throwing him onto the bedroom floor like a tattered ragdoll. Now, Jaxson was faced with the dark, black boots and well toned arms of a very angry Kellen, veins protruding from his neck and teeth barred like a rotweiler ready to attack.
''What the fuck, huh? What the FUCK, JAXSON?'' The words were almost loud enough to rattle windows and the anger could put the fear of God into anyone and it looked like, at this point, God was all Jaxson had left. ''I went to hang out with friends. There's nothing wr-''
''Who are you fucking?''
''What are you talking about?''
''Which of those guys are you fucking?''
''What?!'' Jaxson was taken aback by the accusation and almost laughed, wondering if Kellen was joking. But as the seconds ticked by and the anger only hardened Kellen's face, he realized just how serious he was. ''I'm...not. You're the only gu-''
''Then why were you at the club, whoring around, hm?! You were just there for fun, is that right?''
''Rig-''
''And why didn't you text me back - what were you doing instead?''
''I just...turned...off my phone...''
''OHHHHHH! I see, so you turned off your fucking phone! I see!! Well that explains fucking everything, now doesn't it, Jaxson?''
''I...g..guess...''
But apparently, that wasn't the answer Kellen was looking for. Kellen's hand shot at Jaxson again, this time grabbing him by the throat and pushing against his windpipe until he was gasping for air. The pain was overwhelming and Jaxson wanted to cry out, but couldn't find the breath to do so and instead, grasped at Kellen's hands trying to to remove them.
''So you think this is fucking funny, right? You just want me to end up on the next TMZ? Actor Kellen was seen today starting a fight with an unknown male at Club'In, resulting in Kellen being arrested for battery. Is that what you wanted to see?''
''N..no...'' Jaxson choked out, clawing desperately at his hands now as his grip tightened.
''YES IT IS! THAT IS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE - THAT'S WHY YOU MADE A BIG FUCKING SHOW OF IT AT THE CLUB, ISN'T IT? IT'S ALL A BIG FUCKING SHOW TO YOU JAXSON!''
''K..kel...len....''
''WELL LET'S GET A GOOD LOOK AT YOU, JAXSON! MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL READY TO GO FOR THE SHOW!'' Kellen roared, loosening his grip with one hand to smear the carefully applied makeup on Jaxson's face down his cheeks, long black mascara streaks running down from his eyes. ''LOOK AT YOU NOW, DO YOU LIKE THAT?''
''N...n-''
Kellen reached up again, this time pressing his hands across Jaxson's eyes which had been all decked out with a fresh coat of purple eyeshadow, but now looked more like a 4 year old playing in mommy's makeup after Kellen was done. With each hand he rubbed across Jaxson's face, he could feel his makeup loosening and all of his work going down the drain, but he still held back the tears.
''Don't you look FUCKING HORRIBLE now?'' Kellen taunted, dropping his pathetic lover to the floor as Jaxson gasped for as much air as he could take in with each breath.
''Fuck...you...Kell-...en...''
''Fuck you? FUCK YOU? REALLY JAXSON?'' Just as Jaxson looked up to Kellen, he was met with a boot to the face and was knocked to the floor again, but the beating didn't stop there. Pain shot through Jaxson's ribcage as the sole of Kellen's boot dug into him, the shifting of the rib both uncomfortable and unbearably agonizing, causing Jaxson to cry out.
''Kellen...p..please..stop!''
It went unnoticed. Another kick landed somewhere on Jaxson's arm, who was still clutching onto his torso at the complete mercy of his lover. The pain seemed to drag on forever but at the same time, was so quick that Jaxson could hardly believe when it was all over and Kellen had fleed downstairs to destroy God knows what, leaving the house in total stillness that Jaxson gladly welcomed. Jaxson almost didn't want to get up, in fear that Kellen would be back but after a few minutes had passed, finally allowed himself to stand and hobble over to the clean, pillow soft bed where he could relax in solitude. It was tempting to get up and check the damage that was surely done but Jaxson wasn't even sure if he wanted to look at himself in the mirror, the overwhelming fear of ugliness detouring him from it and instead, settling on a nice, quiet nap now that the storm had finally passed. Pain surged through Jaxson's poor, beaten body, causing him to clutch the pillow each time his heart would beat, the agony long lasting well into the night until sleepiness and exhaustion wrestled him from consciousness and he was safely able to drift off to dreamland. Terror and fear haunted his dreams throughout the night, causing restlessness until an annoying buzz ripped him from his nightmares and pulled him back into the harsh, painful reality of the night before. He jolted awake and shot up from his bed, sweat pouring down his battered and bruised body as his eyes darted from wall to wall, finally looking beside him to see the cause of his pain, yet maker of his happiness: Kellen, looking pristine and flawless as always. Jaxson reached out to place a hand on his face, wondering if the lightest touch could wake him but thinking better of instead after looking at the time and realizing he was late to work already.
''crap.'' He cursed under his breath, slipping out from underneath the warm, inviting sheets and pushing his way through the bathroom door where he was able to get the first good look at himself since the night before; needless to say, it wasn't good. Dark blue and purple bruises were in a ring around his throat from where Kellen had been holding him, the skin tender and inflammed after the pressure of the fight. Small bruises covered various parts of his body but Jaxson shrugged each of them off, knowing that clothes would hide those if he picked out the right outfit. But the most noticable would be the one on the most precious part of his body - his face - a nice black eye looking larger than Hollywood and clear as daylight. Each and everyone he touched was painful but at the same time, it was easy to overlook after having gone through so much already. No - the hardest part was how he looked afterwords and really seeing himself in the mirror and the amount of damage that had been done to his appearance despite all of the work Jaxson put into it. Tears stung the sides of his eyes but Jaxson held them back, ripping his gaze away from the hideous person staring back at him and instead, picking up his clothes off of the bathroom floor to change into for work. As he changed, he faced his black and blue back to the mirror, trying not to even catch glances of himself, or his face, in fear that he would breakdown like a baby before work, or even worse, Kellen would catch him crying again and the fight would pick up where it had left off yesterday. It only took a minute or two after Jaxson had finished dressing himself when he suddenly felt strong arms wrapped around him and the familiar, warm breath of Kellen tickling his ear.
''Good morning...'' He started out, holding on tightly to Jaxson but softly enough so that he wasn't putting pressure on any of his bruises.
''How...are you doing this morning?''
''Fine...'' Jaxson lied, laying all of his makeup out on the counter to see what he could do for damage control on these bruises. ''Just getting ready for work.''
''Yeah, sorry...I turned off your alarm for you...thought you might need the sleep.''
''Ah, it's okay. I needed extra time to get ready this morning anyway.''
''Really?'' Kellen asked, slight hostility in his voice. ''Why's that?''
''Well...'' Jaxson thought quickly, eying himself in the mirror. ''I left my makeup on last night so it's stuck on there pretty good.''
''Yeah, I can see that...''
Kellen finally released Jaxson from his hug, allowing him to begin work on each of the bruises, one at a time, making each of them disappear little by little, with multiple layers of makeup caked onto to each one. It was a tedious process, one that Jaxson was used to by now, but having Kellen watch him made it all the more nerve-wracking and put a little hustle into Jaxson's normally calm morning routine. He just stared, as if his eyes were trying to penetrate Jaxson's mind but Jaxson did his best not to make eye contacted and focused instead on finishing up his makeup. It wasn't until Jaxson had finally finished and was ready to go that he heard the words that he knew were already coming.
''I'm sorry.''
They were soft, sincere and true - Jaxson knew this as Kellen spoke them aloud, but they were also something else: absolutely meaningless. Time and time again, those two words would come up after each fight that they had and every time, they acted only as a bandaid to cover up the bruises, but never to make them truly go away. They were a quick fix, like tape, in a relationship that had long since been shattered, the innocence and magic of their love beyond repair after the damage had been done. But what would admitting any of this really do for either of them? To acknowledge that their relationship was over and all the months they had spent together were wasted? All the trying that they had put in was useless and amounted to nothing? Not for Jaxson - he couldn't let it happen. As if he were playing the same role he had always played in their relationship, Jaxson knew what he had to say - the same thing he had always said:
''It's okay.''
After all, what else was there to say? Kellen let out a sigh of relief behind him, pulling him into a hug that felt strangely comfortable and wonderful, despite the tension that was still loitering about. Jaxson managed to pull away from the actor's arms, looking up at him with a weak, weary smile that said so much more than Jaxson was willing to but Kellen overlooked any deeper meaning and finished the conversation himself, using the most famous line in the book.
''It'll never happen again. I love you, Jaxson.''
''...I love you too, Kellen.''
Jaxson gave Kellen a quick peck on the cheek, loading up all of his makeup into his bag and grabbing a few things from the table before he headed out the door. As he was leaving, he couldn't help but double check and triple check himself in the mirror, making sure no spots were missed and he looked presentable despite the turbulent night that the two had shared and at the door, Kellen was waiting, car keys in hand.
''Have a good day, alright?''
''I will.''
''I love you, Jaxson.'' Kellen repeated softly, melting away any lasting resentment that Jaxson had carried through the night. He opened his mouth to reply, wondering if he should give Kellen something to think about while he was at work, but Kellen stole away his words with a kiss and shooed him out the door. As he got down the car and shoved the key in the ignition, he reached over to his bag on the seat beside him, retrieving his phone from the depths of the makeup and staring at it, wondering why he stayed. All he would have to do is make one call and Kellen could be gone forever - arrested, or taken away or Jaxson could even have one of his friends come get him. One simple text and the nightmare could be over. He could just text one of his friends and have them come get his stuff - move away to New York or somewhere that his talent would truly be appreciated; Kellen would be a distance memory and he could finally have his happily ever after with someone who didn't...
Quickly, he tapped out a text message to someone, his finger hovering just above the send button wondering if he was making the right choice. It was difficult to say and Jaxson almost didn't do it, but after pushing all doubt out of his mind, tapped the Send button and breathed a sigh of relief before tossing his phone back into his bag.
'I love you too Kellen. Have a good day.'
